I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
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