Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
Randomize
