So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
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