Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
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