So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
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