I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
Randomize
