how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
I intend to get homeless drunk
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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