I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
Randomize
