You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
Randomize