We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
Never joke about your clitoris.
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
Randomize
