I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
Pro tip: When you spend the afternoon banging your boss, don’t meet your mother-in-law for dinner if you still smell like cum and watermelon flavored lube
Randomize
