so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
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