there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
Randomize