new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
Randomize