SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
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