Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
Watching her eat just hurts me
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
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