Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
