party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
Randomize
