a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
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