Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
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