Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
