it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Randomize
