i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
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