is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
Randomize