Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize
