I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize
