I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
