His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
I need moral support for this bender
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
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