I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
i think my cat just said my name.
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
Randomize