Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
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