I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
Randomize
