I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Randomize
