yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
Randomize
