I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
Randomize
