At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
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