Jerry, you need to find god
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
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