Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
Randomize
