So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
Some guy was coming onto me last night and in the middle of it all he said: 'It literally says this on my birth certificate: Francis Coburt: The Guy Who Can Pull Two Beers Outta His Pants Like Magic.'
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
Randomize
