Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Randomize
