Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
Randomize
