I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
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