oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
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