Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
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