so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
Randomize