In the future we'll all be gay
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
Randomize
