My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
I swear she didn't look like that last week.
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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