Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize