I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
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