I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
Randomize
