do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
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