belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
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