I just woke up to my FedEx of contacts I've been waiting for for about a week and my hungover ass went to the bathroom and used beer instead of contact solution.
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
Randomize
