he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
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