Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize
