just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
Randomize
