I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
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