Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
Randomize
