So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
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