guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
I'm just crazy horny about you
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
Randomize
