Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
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