So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
Brb crying the tears of my youth
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
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