Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize