Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Randomize
