I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
Randomize
