Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize
