They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
