Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
Randomize
