i just woke up with two martini umbrellas taped to my nipples... idk how they got there
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
I think a kid would responsible me up
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
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