I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
Randomize
