i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
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