5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
Randomize
