nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
